“I wish I hadn’t missed that opportunity.” This is a common response among the 31 youth interviewed for this report. They reflect on past choices, missed opportunities, and unfulfilled dreams. Findings from Salam Watandar’s interviews with 16 girls and 15 boys across nine provinces show that education, employment, migration, and marriage are the main areas in which missed opportunities leave lasting regret and, in many cases, contribute to mental health problems.
Fourteen interviewees identified economic hardship and unemployment as the main causes of their regrets and missed opportunities, while 10 cited barriers to education and seven pointed to family and social pressure. Among them, 14 regretted missed educational opportunities, seven attributed their regrets to the lack of suitable employment, and 10 linked their regrets to migration, being unable to migrate, or early marriage.
Regrets over missed opportunities in education, employment, and migration
Sabiha Azimi, a 24-year-old journalism graduate of the Women’s Online University, says the greatest regret of her life is choosing a field of study that did not align with her circumstances or future prospects. She says financial problems prevented her from pursuing her favorite field of study, and she now feels she missed an important opportunity.
“My biggest regret is that I did not choose the right field of study. The major I selected was unsuitable. When I look at the situation today, I deeply regret it,” she says.
Mohammad Naeem, a 23-year-old engineering graduate from Ghor who is currently unemployed, says that if he had another chance, he would focus on learning foreign languages and developing professional skills.
“I didn’t make good use of the educational opportunities available to me. Looking back, I realize that if I had worked harder, my situation would be better today. If I could go back two years, I would spend more time learning English and improving my professional skills,” he says.
Madina Noorzai, an 18-year-old from Faryab, says she left a tailoring course unfinished because of family problems and a lack of motivation, and she now regrets that decision.
“At that time, I thought I would never need this skill. Because of family problems and a lack of motivation, I stopped attending the tailoring course. But now, when I see many girls earning an income from this skill, I feel that I missed a very important opportunity,” she says.
Zahra Qasemi, a 20-year-old from Parwan, says she wanted to migrate two years ago to continue her education, but financial problems prevented her from doing so.
“While I was at university, I didn’t take advantage of the English language courses that were available. I wanted to learn English, but I couldn’t. I also wanted to migrate to continue my education, but that didn’t happen. Financial difficulties prevented me from migrating,” she says.
When regret leads to anxiety and hopelessness
The psychological consequences of missed opportunities emerged as another key finding of this report. 24 interviewees said that constantly thinking about missed opportunities had caused them psychological problems.
Yosraa Ahmadi, a 22-year-old from Badakhshan, says that although online learning opportunities were available, she did not take advantage of them and now feels regret and hopelessness.
“There were several online programs I could have joined, but because of various problems and hopelessness, I missed those opportunities. This situation has caused me to experience stress, hopelessness, and a loss of self-confidence,” she says.
Madina Ahmadi, a resident of Faryab, also says that constantly regretting the past reduced her self-confidence. However, she emphasizes that those regrets have taught her an important lesson, and she now intends to make the most of new opportunities.
“This has taught me never to consider any educational opportunity or skill as worthless. I have now decided to resume my tailoring training and use what I learned from the past to build a better future,” she adds.
Youth hope to learn from the past and build their future
On the other hand, a number of interviewees believe that expanding educational and employment opportunities and providing greater support for youth could help prevent similar missed opportunities and regrets in the future.
Mohammad Fahim Hejraan, a 22-year-old medical student from Ab Kamari district in Badghis, says, “Employment opportunities should be provided for youth, especially university students, so they can work while studying. Students and youth can build a better future by continuing their education while simultaneously creating employment opportunities.”
Muslima Zaman, a resident of Kunduz, also says, “Creating educational and employment opportunities and supporting youth can help. My advice to youth is not to lose hope and to take advantage of every opportunity to learn.”
Experts warn about the consequences of living with regret
A number of psychologists and sociologists warn about the personal and social consequences of living with past regrets, saying that prolonged regret can seriously put a person’s well-being at risk.
Zuhal Amirzada, a psychologist, says that increased anxiety and the loss of peace of mind are among the consequences of constantly thinking about missed opportunities. According to her,
“Constantly thinking about an issue—what psychologists call rumination—exhausts the mind and deprives people of peace of mind. When individuals feel that the past cannot be changed, they may experience profound hopelessness, feelings of worthlessness, and a reduction in motivation.”
Abdulsalam Hashimi, a sociologist, says, “If these feelings persist for a long time, they can have negative effects on individuals, society, and social mobility. If youth learn from their mistakes, set clear goals, and move toward the future with hope and hard work, they can succeed. Rather than living with regret, they should learn from the past.”
We sought the views of officials from the Ministry of Labor and Social Affairs regarding employment opportunities and the ministry’s programs for youth, but had not received a response by the time this report was published.
The experiences shared by the youth interviewed for this report show that missed opportunities and accumulated regrets are not merely memories of the past. For many, they have become factors contributing to anxiety, hopelessness, and reduced hope for the future. This comes as Afghanistan was once again ranked as the world’s unhappiest country in this year’s World Happiness Report.
Reporter: Sharifa Qasemi
