The findings of Salam Watandar’s interviews with 60 married women in Kabul and several provinces indicate that marriage has brought a range of personal, social, economic, and psychological changes to their lives.
Although many of the changes and challenges associated with married life are shared by most women, the intensity of these experiences varies between the capital and the provinces. Compared with Kabul, women in the provinces reported more significant challenges after marriage, particularly in terms of social relationships, education, employment, and certain aspects of their individual lives.
Life after marriage for women living in the provinces
39 married women from different provinces who participated in this report told Salam Watandar that after marriage they faced restrictions on their individual choices, limitations in their social relationships, and difficulties in continuing their education and employment.
Among the women interviewed in the provinces, 4 reported a decline in personal freedoms and decision-making authority; 5 experienced a decline in their social relationships; 3 lost educational opportunities; 10 were deprived of employment opportunities; and 17 said they had experienced all of these challenges simultaneously.
Karima, a 27-year-old from Herat, says that marriage reduced her educational opportunities and resulted in the loss of job opportunities.
“When I was single, I studied up to Grade 12. After marriage, I was unable to continue my education. My husband’s family did not want me to pursue further studies. I also had a job before marriage, but I lost it afterward,” she says.
Susan, a 28-year-old from Baghlan, also says, “I got married while I was a university student. After marriage, I had no opportunity to work. I could only attend university, and even that was accompanied by restrictions. Some members of my husband’s family said I should not continue my education and tried to prevent me from studying.”
Meanwhile, Mohaddesa Adeli, a 20-year-old from Daikundi, says that after marriage she faced a number of problems related to her mobility and personal decision-making.
“If I want to go anywhere, I must first obtain permission from my husband and then separately from each member of his family. This applies even when I want to visit nearby places such as a neighbor’s house, the market, or a relative’s home,” she says.
Benafsha, a 27-year-old from Kapisa, also says, “Previously, I made my own decisions. Now, every decision I make is subject to criticism. For example, if I want to change the decor of the house or even discuss having children, my mother-in-law, father-in-law, and sister-in-law all interfere.”
Life after marriage for women living in the capital
Although women’s conditions in Kabul are relatively better, fewer than half of the women interviewed reported restrictions on their personal freedoms, reduced social interaction, deprivation of educational opportunities, or limited employment opportunities after marriage.
Among the 21 women interviewed in Kabul, 3 said their social relations had decreased after marriage, while 11 reported that some of their personal freedoms and decision-making authority had become restricted. In addition, 10 women said they experienced a combination of personal restrictions, reduced personal freedoms, limitations on decision-making, reduced social interaction, and barriers to education and employment after marriage.
Tooba, a 26-year-old resident of Kabul, says, “Fortunately, I did not face any problems regarding work or education after marriage. I was allowed to continue both. As before, I can work, study, and participate in social activities.”
Yasna, a 35-year-old woman who also lives in Kabul, says, “After marriage, I feel that I have the freedom to make decisions in many areas of my life. Decisions related to my life and daily conduct are largely my own. I became a teacher after marriage, and new opportunities became available to me.”
Some of the women interviewed for this report said that after marriage they were able to access facilities and greater freedom.
Zuhal Ghaffari, a 25-year-old, says that marriage brought positive changes to her life and increased her ability to make her own decisions.
“Before marriage, I had limited mobility and did not have strong social relationships. If I compare my life before and after, it has changed. Before marriage, I did not have much freedom; my family decided where I could go and what I could wear. After marriage, I make all the decisions myself,” she says.
However, Nargis, a resident of Kabul, says that marriage altered her personal freedoms. She explains, “When I lived with my parents, I had greater freedom in certain areas. For example, I faced fewer restrictions regarding my choice of clothing and lifestyle. But after marriage, circumstances changed, and some restrictions were imposed by my husband’s family.”
Meanwhile, officials from the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice of the Islamic Emirate say they have reviewed thousands of family-dispute cases during the current year and have worked to resolve them through appropriate mechanisms. They also raise public awareness in order to reduce family disputes.
Saif-ul-Islam Khyber, spokesperson for the Ministry, says, “Cases involving family disputes and conflicts number in the tens of thousands. The cases registered and followed up during the current year alone amount to thousands. Whenever a case is reported, muhtasibs and relevant officials examine it carefully. They investigate the causes of violence, conflict, and disputes and assess why these problems have occurred.”
Marriage is one of the most important stages of life and can bring substantial changes to an individual’s personal, social, and economic circumstances. However, women’s experiences of married life are not the same. They vary according to family and social conditions and place of residence, as illustrated by the accounts of women from Kabul and the provinces in this report.
Reporter: Eshwa Azizi
