Friendships play a crucial role in shaping an individual’s character. While positive and supportive friendships can nurture personal growth, progress, and the development of good morals, unhealthy or misguided relationships can lead to significant financial, psychological, and social consequences.
Salam Watandar interviewed 16 young individuals, nine boys and seven girls, whose lives have been profoundly impacted by poor friendship choices. These negative relationships have led to depression, changes in behavior, school/university dropouts, and, in some cases, drug addiction.
Seven of the interviewees shared that their ill-chosen friendships were the main reason they abandoned their education, highlighting the profound effect these relationships can have on their future.
Mobin, a 25-year-old from Balkh, shares that the friend he spent the most time with encouraged him to neglect his studies, ultimately leading to his decision to drop out. “He always encouraged me to skip classes, avoid work, and engage in destructive behaviors. Instead of spending my time on my goals, I wasted it on things that harmed me, leaving my education, job, and life behind,” Mobin says.
Arezo, a 24-year-old from Kabul, explained that following her friend’s bad habits made it difficult for her to continue her studies. “She didn’t care about her lessons. She would say, ‘Look at all the people who studied, and what did they achieve? Why should you even bother studying? Here, you either pass or fail, it’s all the same.’ Gradually, I adopted her mindset, and my interest in learning faded,” she said.
On the other side, five interviewees mention that their association with bad friends led to changes in their mood and habits, eventually pushing them into depression.
Hosai Fayaz, a 21-year-old from Pol-e-Khomri, Baghlan, who became distant from her family due to the influence of her friends, said, “When I was with them, their behavior rubbed off on me. Even my friends and relatives changed the way they treated me. This led to anger from my family, and I ended up being suspended from school for several days.”
Similarly, Aref, 27, from Takhar with a degree in law and political science, says that his friend’s depression led to his own. “He was a negative and depressed person. I spent my free time with him, and his thoughts and ideas negatively impacted my mood, leading me into depression.”
In addition to missing out on education and experiencing mental health issues, addiction to drugs was also identified by the interviewees as one of the consequences of unhealthy friendships.
Four of the interviewees who have completed drug rehabilitation programs say that their friends led them into drug addiction.
Karimullah, a 19-year-old from Parwan, who had been addicted to drugs for three years, shares that associating with individuals who were already addicted led him to the same fate. “It affected me so much that my words and behavior mirrored that of my friend. I became a rebellious person, always fighting in school.”
Meanwhile, some families emphasize the importance of selecting good friends for their children, noting that bad friendships negatively impact their children’s behavior and character.
Sakina, a mother of three from Parwan, talks about the effect of her son’s friends on his behavior: “I’m not happy with my son’s behavior. He hasn’t chosen good friends, and their influence on him is so strong that his style of dressing, way of speaking, and late-night coming behavior are all like theirs. He no longer listens to us.”
Sociologists also highlight that choosing friends has a profound effect on young people’s character and identity. They stress the importance of young people being aware and careful when selecting friends to avoid the negative consequences.
Ahmad Rashed Sediqi, a sociologist, says, “If a friendship leads us down the wrong path, such as towards addiction, depression, or social isolation, we must end that relationship immediately. Cutting off negative influences will benefit us in the long run.”
Social and psychological experts furthermore emphasize that having healthy friendships is essential not only for combatting loneliness but also for personal growth, skill development, and overall character building.
