KABUL (SW) – In a series of interviews with 26 women across several provinces, 19 women said that their male family members do not assist them with household tasks especially during significant occasions like Eid that increases stress and feelings of being overlooked.
Many women say that they handle daily household chores, especially during festivities, without the participation of their male family members. These tasks include laundry, cleaning, and making clothes for themselves and their children.
Malalai, residing in Sar-e pol province and married for four years, laments that her husband does not participate in household chores at all. She adds, “Not only during Eid, but at other times too, he doesn’t help. Sometimes when our child cries and I’m doing laundry, he doesn’t lend a hand. It upsets me, and I think if I mattered to him, he would surely help.”
Shogufa from Jowzjan also shares that the men in her family are accustomed to not helping with household duties. “The men in our household are very traditional; they don’t lift a finger to help with any household chores. I wish they would contribute; it would make our burden lighter. With so many guests often coming to our home, I get tired and end up doing all the housework alone,” she added.
Some women attribute this behavior to prevalent societal norms where men refrain from collaborating with women in household chores.
Yalda from Faryab, explained, “They say they are man and their duty is to provide for us. They believe household chores are women’s responsibility, considering it a tradition from the past.”
Nabila from Farah echoes similar sentiments, saying, “We don’t feel valued; we feel like an extra member in the family.”
In contrast, some of these women have reported that their husbands not only fail to assist with household chores but also behave violently towards them.
Habiba, from Nangarhar, shares that due to verbal abuse from her husband, she suffers from mental distress. Habiba says, “My husband doesn’t help with household duties and always makes a fuss. I’ve become anxious; it’s affecting my nerves.”
Samira, residing in Jowzjan, finds her husband’s inappropriate behavior distressing. She adds, “I feel bad and hopeless because I prepare everything at home for the men, but if they lack anything, they create a ruckus and start saying hurtful things.”
However, seven women interviewed in this report have mentioned that their husbands do cooperate with them, which has alleviated some of the household workload.
Fariba, from Jowzjan, notes, “During Eid preparations, my father and brothers help us. In the past, it wasn’t like this, and my mother and I did all the work alone. Now, they have changed, and my father and brothers respectfully assist us.”
Roqiya, from Kabul, also confirms, “The men in our family help us in every way. During Eid or when we have a lot of work, such as cooking and cleaning.”
Soraya Paykan, a women’s rights activist, attributes the reluctance of men to cooperate in household chores to the traditional structure of Afghan society and prevailing beliefs.
She emphasizes, “Men expect women to always be occupied with household chores, even on holidays like Eid, while men don’t take their share.”
Some religious scholars view cooperation between men and women in household chores as a Prophetic tradition. Bashir Ahmad Hanafi, a religious scholar, states, “In Islam, household chores are shared between men and women. The Prophet Mohammad cooperated with his wives, and men should cooperate with women in household duties, especially during times like Eid when there is much to be done.”
The traditional structure of Afghan society and misguided beliefs have gendered household tasks, placing the responsibility solely on women, which contributes to their dissatisfaction. This disparity highlights the need for broader societal change to promote gender equality in domestic responsibilities.
