A number of youth in Afghanistan who bear the burden of meeting their families’ needs say that this responsibility has deprived them of educational opportunities, career goals, and the joys of being young.
Salam Watandar interviewed 31 youth, including 13 boys and 18 girls, in different provinces for this report. Of them, 10 said they were responsible for meeting their families’ needs because they were the eldest sons, 14 because they were the sole breadwinners, and three because they had no family guardian. The interviewees, aged between 19 and 30, had been responsible for meeting their families’ needs for periods ranging from two to 15 years.
Mohammad Edris Alami, a 21-year-old resident of Kabul, says he has been responsible for meeting his family’s needs for the past five years, and that this responsibility has kept him from enjoying his youth.
“I have to pay the rent and cover the monthly costs of food and other basic needs. I have taken on these responsibilities because there is no other male family member at home,” he says.
Mohammad Emran Walizada, another 21-year-old resident of Kabul who is the eldest child in his family, says:
“For several years, I have been mainly responsible for covering my family’s living expenses and basic needs. After my father, all the responsibilities have fallen on my shoulders.”
Among the 31 youth interviewed for this report, 20 said they had been unable to continue their education because they had to meet their families’ needs, while another 11 said they had given up their goals because of these responsibilities.
Tayyiba Rezaian, a 27-year-old young woman, says she gave up her dreams to provide a better life for her family. She now supports herself and her family through online work.
“I wanted to study more and take care of myself, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even buy the things I wanted because I had to think about the water and electricity bills and save money for rent. As a result, I couldn’t make time for the things I wanted to do at that age,” she says.
Sahar Malekzada, another 23-year-old young woman, says she has sacrificed her own wishes to meet her family’s needs. She adds that carrying this responsibility has left her feeling helpless.
“If the responsibility of supporting my family had not fallen on my shoulders, perhaps I wouldn’t feel so weak, helpless, or low on energy. I might not feel hopeless at times, and perhaps I would be more optimistic about the future,” she adds.
Mina, a 22-year-old young woman, says that family responsibilities have caused her to lose the opportunity to pursue her own wishes. She currently works as a teacher.
“This responsibility has caused me anxiety and weakened my physical health. I was a different person a few years ago, but I am no longer the same. I often get sick and have lost my motivation because I feel that I am alone. It is difficult to manage everything on my own,” she says.
The youth interviewed for this report say that the fear of losing their jobs, earning less, and being unable to meet their families’ needs are other pressures they have to bear.
Baktash Mohmand, a 20-year-old who has been his family’s breadwinner for the past seven years, says the fear of earning less or losing his job sometimes increases his worries about meeting his family’s needs.
“My biggest concern is how I would cover my family’s expenses if my income decreased one day. This is always on my mind,” he adds.
Darman, a 19-year-old, also says: “The biggest pressure comes from having to cover my family’s expenses. I have so many responsibilities on my shoulders that I feel stressed and anxious all the time. I have no peace of mind. Life just goes on.”
A number of interviewees say that meeting their families’ needs, along with other challenges, has also taken away their opportunities to rest and enjoy recreational activities.
Effat Ahmadi, who has worked as a teacher for 12 years, says that worries about daily life have taken away her opportunity to relax.
“Most of my time is divided between work, teaching, and family responsibilities. Even when work ends, I keep thinking about expenses and my family’s needs. Sometimes I wish I could have just one day for myself without worrying about tomorrow’s expenses. I would like to rest, spend time with my friends, or simply sit peacefully,” she says.
Farahnaz Ahmadi, another 27-year-old young woman who works for a media outlet, says: “Even when I have time to rest, I cannot clear my mind. Sometimes my friends invite me to go out, but because of my workload or financial problems, I cannot spend much time with them.”
The burden of family responsibilities and regret over lost opportunities have made these youth feel as though they have grown up too soon.
Roya, a 26-year-old young woman, says that life’s difficulties make her feel older than she really is. She meets her family’s needs through sewing.
“I feel as though I am 37. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see that my living conditions have turned me into a completely different person. I can see how much the pressure of life has affected my face and body,” she says.
Abubakr Seddiqi, a 21-year-old, says that the burden of meeting his family’s needs has caused some of his hair to turn white prematurely.
“My family responsibilities have caused some of my hair to turn white. Sometimes I think that, because of everything I have experienced, I must be 35 or 40 years old,” he says.
Meanwhile, a number of psychologists say that the responsibility of meeting their families’ needs falling on youth can have various consequences for their psychological health and personality development.
Wasel Shah Ibrahimi, a psychologist, says that neglecting personal needs and taking on family responsibilities can lead to low self-confidence, depression, and fear.
“Youth who shoulder the responsibility of supporting their families often experience some degree of social isolation because they have fewer opportunities for recreation, education, and social interaction. This can lower their self-confidence, make them feel inadequate, and prevent them from pursuing their goals,” he says.
Mohammad Khalid Haidari, another psychologist, says that family support can help reduce the impact of daily life difficulties on youth.
“When families support youth and take responsibility for their well-being, it can positively affect their behaviour, communication, and performance, even when they face life’s pressures and hardships,” he adds.
Abdulsalam Hashemi, a sociologist, also emphasizes the need to balance family responsibilities with youth’s personal goals for the future.
“In our society, people who help their families are highly valued, and many youth work hard to improve their families’ living conditions. However, when this responsibility becomes too heavy and they are forced to give up their education, dreams, and personal lives, it becomes a major source of pressure,” he says.
Meanwhile, Mohammad Seddiq, head of information and publications at the Ministry of Labor and Social Affairs of the Islamic Emirate, says the ministry is paving the way for youth to access technical and vocational training opportunities.
“The Ministry of Labor and Social Affairs considers it its duty to pave the way for youth who are responsible for covering their families’ expenses to access technical and vocational training opportunities. The ministry also works to raise their awareness of the importance of such training,” he says.
A number of youth in Afghanistan are forced to leave their education, give up their personal goals, and enter the labor market to meet their families’ needs because of poverty, the loss of a family guardian, and economic dependence on them.
Reporter: Eshwa Azizi
