Findings by Salam Watandar, based on interviews with 32 women aged 15 to 30 across 15 provinces of Afghanistan, reveal that 20 of them conceal their names to avoid family and social pressures. In many households, mentioning a woman’s name outside the home is considered a “disgrace” or “dishonor.” As a result, in contexts such as wedding invitations, shopping, social media, and public ceremonies, male family members’ names are often used in place of their own.
However, not all women accept hiding their names. Some consider their name as part of their identity, yet social structures force them to compromise.
Fatima, a resident of Badakhshan, told Salam Watandar: “I personally prefer things to be in my own name, but my family says that in some situations it is better to use a surname or the name of a male family member so that people talk less. People think that mentioning a woman’s name in public leads to suspicion or gossip, so that’s why they avoid it.”
Similarly, Aziza from Faryab explained: “There have been times when issues came up because I used my own name for purchases or bills. At other times, I preferred to use my brother’s name, my father’s name, or my surname. My family mostly insists that it’s better to mention a male family member instead of a woman. Still, I really wish to be called by my own name.”
Zakera, also resident of Faryab, said she wants to be recognized in society by her own name:
“When I’m in a group or at a gathering and someone calls me by my name, I feel completely comfortable. When I want to build a place for myself in society, I don’t want to be known because of my father’s or brother’s name—I want it to be my own.”
Some women reported that using their own names for purchases brought family reproach, forcing them to buy items in male relatives’ names.
Nasiba, from Kapisa, explained: “In cases like buying gold or other important items, the buyer’s name has to be recorded. I preferred my own name to be mentioned, but due to social pressure or my family’s opinion—my father or brother—I was sometimes forced to use a pseudonym or their names. For example, on a refrigerator bill.”
Rona, from Kunduz, shared a similar experience: “We faced this in many situations—buying gold, or other items. In some cases, I gave my own name. When my family found out, they scolded me, asking why I had done that. After that, I took the bills in my father’s or brother’s name.”
Despite this, 13 of the women interviewed said they continue to use their own names outside the family. Although they face family reprimands, they resist the pressure. These women believe that using their own names helps increase their social status.
Zainab, resident of Badghis, emphasized the importance of naming: “In my view, mentioning a woman’s name does not diminish her value. On the contrary, being recognized by name represents identity and respect. Devaluation comes from misguided thinking. A name is the natural right of every human being.”
Similarly, Safia, from Kunduz, said: “Being named does not reduce a woman’s value, but families often think it’s a disgrace or dishonor for others to know the names of the women in their household.”
Religious scholars have also weighed in. Pointing to historical texts that mention the names of the Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) wives, they stress that there is no religious problem with mentioning women’s names. Women, they note, have the right to own property and can register ownership in their own names.
Ali Ataee, a religious scholar, told Salam Watandar: “From the perspective of Islamic teachings, there is absolutely no issue with mentioning women’s names. The names of the Prophet’s wives— Khadija and Aisha (RA)—are recorded in historical texts, as is the name of his noble daughter, Fatima al-Zahra (RA). In today’s societies, especially our traditional society, restricting women’s names in certain cases comes from cultural traditions, not religion. Women have the right to own property, and goods can be registered in their names.”
Sociologists also believe that concealing women’s identities and tying them to male family members increases the risk of violence and the violation of their rights.
Zia Nikzad, a sociologist, explained: “In a patriarchal society, women often lack an independent identity and are instead attached to the men in their families. This creates conditions for greater violence against women. In Afghanistan, women are seen as ‘namus’—honor—and families often do not want anyone outside to know them. When a woman cannot use her own name, she cannot claim her rights or pursue her aspirations. This directly marginalizes her.”
Psychologists also warn that concealing women’s identities and names can have serious psychological consequences, including a decline in their self-esteem within society.
Ahmadullah Baloch, a psychologist, said: “When women are forced to hide their names, they experience psychological despair. Identity and gender-identity issues may arise, and some girls may feel they need to be like a boy to achieve their legitimate wishes and aspirations. This causes anxiety, feelings of worthlessness, and lower self-esteem.”
Despite these pressures, Saif-ul-Islam Khyber, spokesperson for the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice and Hearing Complaints of the Islamic Emirate, told Salam Watandar that the ministry has no prohibition on using women’s names and is not involved in this matter.
It is important to note that using women’s names in Afghanistan is a deeply rooted cultural and traditional norm. In some cases, mentioning women’s names in public spaces, on invitations, official documents, and even at funerals is considered shameful. As a result, women’s identities are often hidden, and they are referred to by titles such as “mother of,” “sister of,” or “wife of” a male family member.
