Findings by Salam Watandar, based on interviews with 28 women from several provinces of Afghanistan, show that 16 of them have had no role in determining the fate and upbringing of their children. Legal experts and religious scholars, however, stress that women participation in important family decisions—especially those related to their children’s fate and education—and they warn about the consequences of ignoring a mother’s role.
Among those 16 women, eight women said their husbands had taken away their decision-making role, while another eight women said their husbands’ families had done so. Some of the women explained that incorrect cultural perceptions and family pressure deprived them of the right to give advice or express their opinions at home. According to them, this not only weakens women’s confidence and responsibility but also creates distance and tension between husband and wife.
Zulaikha, a 27-year-old woman from Faryab who holds a bachelor’s degree, said that in major decisions—such as buying land or a house, moving to another province or country, arranging children’s marriages, or managing savings and loans—women have very little authority.
“In all these matters,” she explained, “the final decision is always made by the husband or the male head of the family.”
Shazia, a 40-year-old woman from Kunduz, shared a similar experience. After her husband passed away, she said, her right to advise and make decisions about her children was taken from her. She explained that all family decisions are now in the hands of her brothers-in-law.
“I have no authority over myself, my family, or my children,” she said. “Even the authority over my own children is in the hands of their uncles.” According to her, her opinions are not considered at all.
Lida, a 35-year-old woman from Kunduz, also said her opinion does not matter in decisions about her children’s education and upbringing. She explained that whatever her husband’s family decides must be followed. If they say to go somewhere, they go; if they say not to, they do not.
She added, “They did not allow my daughter to attend school. Even though my children are now grown, I have never had any real authority in their lives.”
Many women believe that harmful customs in Afghanistan continue to damage women’s lives.
Roqya, a 40-year-old woman, said her daughter was forced into marriage at the age of 12 without her consent. She explained that she was unaware of the engagement and did not agree to it.
““I had a daughter who was only 12 years old when they engaged her; I did not know, I was not happy about it.” she said. Her daughter lived only a short time in her husband’s home before passing away, leaving behind two young children. Ruqia said no one ever asked for her opinion.
Parwiz Khalili, a legal expert, said that according to Hanafi jurisprudence, women have authority in household and child-related matters, and no one has the right to deprive them of this legal and religious entitlement. He explained that under Sharia, Law and custom in Afghanistan, a woman is entitled to provide counsel on matters concerning herself, her children, financial issues, her family’s progress, education, and the overall dignity of her family.
In his view, women clearly have the right to participate in family decision-making. He added that under Sharia, law and customs in Afghanistan, A woman has the right to advise her husband, parents, brother, and son on household matters.
Sharifullah Sharifi, a religious scholar, also emphasized that Islam grants women dignity and respect. He said,
“In all matters, Almighty Allah has granted equal rights to both women and men. Likewise, God has appointed a woman in her husband’s home as a leader and guardian of her children, giving her the authority to decide what should and should not be done. As the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, a woman is like a shepherd or guardian within her home and family. On the Day of Judgment, she will be held accountable and questioned about these responsibilities—whether regarding her children or offering sound advice—whatever the matter may be.”
Tahmina Mangal, a women’s rights activist, warned about the broader consequences of silencing women within the family. She said,
“Ignoring a woman’s opinion reduces her self-confidence and can lead to depression and feelings of worthlessness. It creates tension and distrust within families and negatively affects children’s upbringing. On a societal level, it limits women’s participation and reinforces cycles of inequality and violence.”
Meanwhile, officials at the Ministry for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice of the Islamic Emirate confirm that women have the right to provide counsel and participate in decision-making in managing family affairs. The ministry also implements awareness programs in various provinces to educate families on these matters.
Saif-ul-Islam Khyber, the ministry’s spokesperson, told Salam Watandar that according to Islam society is made up of men and women. He stated,
“Just as women play a role in managing the household and resolving problems, they also have a role and authority as wives in family affairs, particularly in the upbringing of children.
He said that the Ministry for the Propagation of Virtue is working on matters related to women’s authorities, which are clearly defined, and that practical efforts have been undertaken in this regard. He added that awareness campaigns are ongoing across Afghanistan’s provinces to ensure that women can obtain information about their rights and authorities.
It is worth noting that Afghanistan is a country where traditional customs strongly influence daily life. As a result, women’s rights are often affected by these practices—from restrictions on employment to a lack of authority in household matters and the disregard of their role in shaping their children’s fate.
Reporter: Sharifa Qasemi
