The findings of Salaam Watandar, based on interviews with 35 youths from Kabul, Herat, Badakhshan, Kunduz, Faryab, Badghis, Kapisa, and Kunar, reveal that experiences of loneliness and social withdrawal among these youths often go beyond being simple personality traits. Instead, they are heavily influenced by social, familial, and structural factors.
Many of these youths describe themselves as introverted and say they prefer not to spend much time in large social gatherings. For them, solitude, deep reflection, and individual activities are important sources of mental energy.
However, a closer look at the interviews shows that, for a significant number, social withdrawal is less a personal choice and more a reaction to external pressures.
Social pressures: The main factor in social withdrawal
Out of the 35 youths, 32 explained that social challenges, family pressures, educational limitations, and the general state of society gradually pushed them toward withdrawal themselves from others. Only three attributed their introverted tendencies to painful childhood experiences, such as emotional neglect or trauma.
This suggests that, in many cases, what is labeled as “introversion” is actually social withdrawal shaped by societal pressures and feelings of hopelessness.
Ay Safa, 29 years-old, from Faryab, told the reporter, “I consider myself introverted. I usually prefer to spend time alone or in small, close-knit groups. Being alone calms me, helps me think clearly, understand my feelings, and recharge my energy.”
Similarly, Seddiqa, 35 years-old, from Herat, said, “I see myself as introverted, but I can interact well in small, safe gatherings. Being alone gives me peace.”
Farzana, 30 years-old, who is resident of Kunduz, explained that misunderstanding and verbal pressure from her family contributed to her withdrawal. She said that when her family—first her parents, then her husband and his relatives—did not understand her, she preferred thinking in solitude rather than talking to others.
Shamila, 20 years-old, also resident of Kunduz, said that her parents are illiterate and restricted her educational aspirations, saying only: “Do household work.” She noted that school and university closures made her feel that personal dreams have no value, which profoundly affected her.
Social media and increased loneliness
The interviews also revealed the impact of social media. 27 youths said that comparing themselves to others online, increased their sense of loneliness and intensified their social withdrawal. They felt that seeing others’ lifestyles, social freedoms, and networks of friends reinforced feelings of failure and low self-worth.
For example, Ali, 25 years-old and from Herat, says,
“When I see people freely expressing themselves or having wide social circles on social media, I feel like a failure and wish I could be like them.”
Tahmina, 22 years-old who is from Faryab, also says,
“Seeing others’ seemingly perfect lives online sometimes makes me feel lonelier, even though I know many of these images aren’t real.”
Meanwhile, eight youths said they do not use social media, and it has not affected their personalities or social relationships.
Social withdrawal and mental health
The report highlights mixed consequences of loneliness and withdrawal. Twelve interviewees said it caused depression, anxiety, and life dissatisfaction, while 23 others felt content with this trait and considered it a natural part of their lifestyle.
Many of these youths mentioned that listening to audio recordings, reading, and spending time with close friends or family are key ways to regain calm and happiness.
Susan, 26 years-old, from Kunduz, shared, “I became much stressed and even saw a psychologist. I feel a little better, but I am still in a period of depression.”
Farzana, 30 years-old also resident of Kunduz, said, “Loneliness and avoiding society have caused me anxiety and depression, and now I take antidepressants.”
Psychologists believe that introversion is a natural personality trait and does not, by itself, negatively affect youths’ lives; however, blaming or suppressing introverted individuals can lead to serious depression.
Mohammadullah Baloch, a psychologist, emphasizes, “Introverts may interact less, but they can generate good ideas in solitude. Being introverted is often positive, but suppressing it can push someone further away from society.”
Shoaib Ahmadi, a sociologist, highlighted family blame as a key factor in youth withdrawal. He warned,
“Some misguided cultural norms cause children to be blamed and isolated. If youths lose hope in society, the entire society suffers and lags behind in growth and development.”
At the same time, economic pressures, changing family structures, and the spread of social media have encouraged many youths to adopt different lifestyles. Within this context, a tendency toward solitude and social withdrawal has become a notable phenomenon among the younger generation.
Reporter: Halima Nazari
