KABUL (SW) – A recent survey by Salam Watandar reveals that technology significantly improves the quality of marital life for young couples.
In interviews with 66 married individuals, comprising 33 women and 33 men, 55 respondents (31 women and 24 men) reported that using modern technological tools positively impacted various aspects of their married lives.
The respondents indicated that devices such as smartphones and computers have strengthened their intimate relationships, fostering a sense of closeness with their spouses even over long distances. Additionally, technology has encouraged a sense of responsibility, aiding in household chores and home management, thereby enhancing the quality of their marital life.
The survey participants highlighted that technological tools enable them to utilize social media content to better manage their relationships and improve their social and professional skills.
For instance, Ay Safa, 27, from Faryab province, shared that following educational content on Facebook, YouTube, and Telegram has enabled her to better fulfill her responsibilities as a married woman. She said, “Technology and social media have had a positive impact on my marital life. I learned things I didn’t know before, such as emotional, physical, and sexual aspects of marital relationships, and how to behave through pages dedicated to improving marital relations on platforms like Facebook, YouTube, and Telegram. When I was pregnant, my husband shared YouTube videos with me about how to nurture our baby during the early weeks. This helped us raise a healthy and well-mannered child.”
Young married individuals noted that the topics they encounter on social media can directly and indirectly contribute to the stability of their married lives.
Ahmad shah from Faryab and Samiullah from Kunduz, two young husbands, mentioned that Facebook and YouTube have increased their awareness in various aspects of life, leading to greater happiness and satisfaction in their marriages.
Ahmad Shah said, “Technology has positively impacted us by providing information about marital life. I have learned many valuable things from websites and informational networks, such as health issues, legal matters, and mutual respect between spouses. I learned many useful things.”
Samiullah added, “A few years ago, I had a different perspective on family life. However, today, I view my wife and children differently. My wife uses the internet or social media during her free time to enhance her knowledge. For example, she learns about home management and various courses, which she then implements.”
Using technological tools effectively can create a sense of security and peace by enabling better home management, understanding spousal expectations, maintaining mutual health, and fostering a loving environment. With just a smartphone or a computer connected to the internet, individuals can quickly access useful information that strengthens their marital bonds.
Of the 33 women interviewed for this report, 31 stated that technology has helped them learn to cultivate intimate and thriving relationships with their spouses. They shared that watching educational videos on social media has helped them become better partners to their husbands.
“I use YouTube and Facebook to watch videos. They have had a very positive impact on my life. When I see a good video on my phone, it teaches me how to take care of my husband and my home. I use these tips in my daily life, and I often use phrases from Facebook with my husband, which makes me seem incredible,” said 27-year-old Tamana.
Azita, 20, added, “I use technology a lot; I take care of myself, my home, and my work. Because of this, my husband is very pleased with me. I follow Instagram pages that teach me how to groom myself, how to do my makeup, and how to design my home. I have a little boy, and to raise him well and healthily, I watch many pages on Facebook. I have learned how to control myself when my husband upsets me and how to behave, perhaps even more so than my mother, thanks to technology.”
While technology has positively impacted many young Afghan couples, it has also introduced significant challenges, according to a survey by Salam Watandar. Among the 66 young married individuals interviewed, 11 (including 2 women and 9 men) reported that technology has negatively affected their marital life, leading to feelings of frustration and loneliness.
Atiqullah, a 29-year-old resident of Jowzjan who has been married for three years, shared how technology initially facilitated better understanding between him and his wife. However, he now believes his wife’s use of technological devices poses risks to their children’s well-being.
“Using YouTube, WhatsApp, and such things is harmful to the child in her womb. These are the bad effects. Good use of the internet is possible, but it also brings problems. If you use it, you cannot attend to your wife, and if your wife uses it, she cannot attend to you or your family. Everything in moderation is medicine; beyond that, it becomes a disease and harm,” said Atiqullah.
Some respondents expressed concerns that technology can introduce a third party into their relationship, with social media platforms facilitating potential infidelity.
Mehrmah, from Kunduz, discovered after five years of marriage that her husband was engaging with other women through social media. She explained, “My husband is constantly busy on his phone, messaging on different platforms, talking to other women, and spending most of his time with them. He pays little attention to me, my interests, our needs, our relationship, and our children and family. This has made our married life painful for me. The changes in our relationship have made him more detached and indifferent.”
Family psychologists emphasize the importance of premarital counseling to strengthen marital bonds. They highlighted that better understanding of a partner, expectations, values, and readiness for potential challenges in married life can be achieved through premarital counseling and online educational workshops, facilitated by technology.
Kowkaba Nawab, a family psychologist, stated, “Our society is traditional, unlike other countries where long-term premarital counseling exists to understand how to interact with the opposite gender.”
“Without proper awareness, the negative aspect of technology can lead to unhealthy comparisons and reduced satisfaction among couples. For example, watching TV series or satellite shows can set unrealistic expectations that do not match real life. Therefore, premarital counseling and proper use of technology are necessary,” said Hebatullah Ebrahimkhil, another psychologist.
Role of structured technology use in strengthening Afghan families
As technology becomes increasingly integrated into daily life, social experts express concerns about its misuse and emphasize the importance of structured and principled technology use to preserve and strengthen social structures.
Rashid Sediqi, a sociologist, warns that improper use of technology can lead to significant problems, including family separations. He said, “If not used properly, it brings many problems and even leads to separations in many families; therefore, it must be used correctly to bring good effects to both society and families.”
According to the Afghanistan Telecom Regulatory Authority (ATRA), nearly 12.5 million internet users are active in the country, many of whom engage with social networks. However, there is no precise census differentiating the marital status of these users.
Jalaluddin Shams, spokesperson for ATRA, said, “In Afghanistan, we have 23 million active SIM cards, with about 12.5 million internet users. We do not have exact numbers, but most people use social networks, and we lack precise data on the number of married and single users.”
With access to technology and internet-connected devices, couples can engage with educational content specifically designed to foster constructive marital relationships, potentially leading to a flourishing and joyful married life.
