KABUL (SW) – Salam Watandar conducted a survey about 389 women in 23 provinces of Afghanistan to assess the level of satisfaction among women regarding their marriages.
Likewise, among the survey participants, 66.1% are married women, 8.5% are engaged, and 25.4% are unmarried girls.
According to the survey, 63% of married women are dissatisfied with their marriages due to their husbands’ and their husbands’ families’ “inappropriate behavior”, unfavorable conditions for livelihood, interference of others in the marital life, and the husband’s personality.
The survey also examined the nature of marriages among women, revealing that 45.5% of married women participating in the survey were forced to get married.
Shabnam, one of the women participating in the survey, says that she was married to a man much older than herself without her consent, pressured by her family. Shabnam explains that her husband had six children from a previous marriage.
This woman explains that eventually, due to family issues and domestic violence, she separated from her first husband and remarried another man. However, she is now dissatisfied with her second marriage as well.
“I separated from my first husband due to his and his family’s misconduct, and returned to my father’s house. I had a daughter. I refused all suitors until my brother said, ‘You are young, and you should marry for the sake of your daughter.’ So, I remarried, and this time, I faced difficult circumstances again. I have no life at all; the bread I eat feels like poison to me. My husband constantly taunts and insults me.”
Similarly, 41.7% of these women have said that their families’ approval was considered for their marriage, while another 12.8% mentioned that, they got married by their own will.
According to this survey, out of the total married women participating in the survey, 67% are dissatisfied with their marriages for specific reasons, and another 37% are satisfied.
The results of this survey indicate that among the married women satisfied with their marriages, 64.4% cite the good character of their husbands, and 35.3% attribute their satisfaction to favorable conditions after marriage.
Zainab, another participant in the survey, shares her experience: “My wedding was not by my will. Like other girls, I was given away in marriage at the behest of my family. Now, I am not happy at all. My husband’s family constantly interferes in our married life, provoking him to mistreat me. There is always argue between us, and our life has become bitter.”
Psychologists emphasize that women’s satisfaction in marriage can greatly affect the post-marriage situation, and the state of women’s satisfaction after marriage impacts their mental well-being.
Haibatullah Ibrahim, a psychologist, comments: “In general, girls are often victims and are forced into marriage at a young age. Interference from others causes them to suffer from mental illnesses, psychological stress, and other disorders. They cannot lead their married lives properly, and they endure many hardships in their marital life, which also affect their children, who bear these unfortunate circumstances.”
On the other hand, expert in social affairs assert that in cases where women are dissatisfied with their marital life, they often resort to suicide, which can have detrimental consequences for their children and society.
Rashed Sediqi, an expert, tells Salam Watandar: “No one has the right to deprive anyone of their rights. Most girls are not considered emotionally. Generally, for a successful and happy marital life, factors such as age, consent to marriage, education, economy, etc., are important for girls, but these are not always taken into consideration, leading to problems that result in suicide and girls running away.”
Women’s rights activists also attribute mistreatment of women, deprivation of rights, imposition of restrictions, and lack of awareness to some of the reasons causing challenges for women’s lives in Afghanistan.
“Often, interference by people and forced marriages of girls are perceived as violence, and this type of violence is committed against women’s rights. These are reasons that make their married life bitter and even destroy it. Besides, it has adverse consequences for society, as women cannot raise good children for society, and overall, they start an unsuccessful life together, which is destructive for themselves and society,” said Husna Raufi, a women’s rights activist.
However, officials from the Ministry for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice (MoPVPV) emphasize that alongside other activities, the ministry is striving to ensure women’s rights.
Abdul Ghafar Farooq, the head of publications at this ministry, told Salam Watandar: “We have done a lot of work in this regard. We have held seminars and prevented violence and harassment against women in 4,740 cases nationwide. We have also prevented 4,800 cases of forced marriages. Sisters and daughters who are forced into marriage can register their complaints, which are then seriously investigated and addressed.”
It is believed that if the de-facto government has systematic plans to secure women’s rights within families, it could resolve women’s challenges. However, if the government and responsible institutions remain unresponsive, the situation for women in Afghanistan may worsen.
