KABUL (SW) – Findings by Salam Watandar reveals that a number of women in Afghanistan have taken on the burden of supporting their families due to their husbands’ lack of responsibility.
Salam Watandar interviewed 22 women whose husbands fail to adequately provide and care for the family. These women said that they face significant challenges in meeting basic life needs, with many suffering from the violent behaviors of their spouses.
Findings indicate that 15 of these women have assumed the role of family provider due to their husbands’ unemployment and irresponsibility, with 7 other women are facing severe difficulties in securing basic life necessities.
Ayesha is one of these women who, without her husband’s support, struggles to provide for herself and her children.
“I manage a cow and chickens, sell milk, yogurt and eggs. This is how I cover my household expenses. My house is rented. My relatives sometimes help me, and this is how I survive. I have also developed anxiety from the constant stress and heartache,” said Ayesha, suffering from mental health issues due to her hardships.
Nadera, a teacher at a school in Badakhshan, shares that despite numerous difficulties, she bravely works hard to meet her family’s needs with a little income from teaching. She complains of her husband’s negligence and irresponsibility, saying: “My husband behaves poorly towards me and my children, though he is kind to his own family. His indifference towards us creates many problems for me. When my husband does not support us and does not cover household expenses, what can I do with a teacher’s salary?”
Zubaida, whose husband is unemployed and provides no income, says that they live with her in-laws; They struggle to have even one meal on the table, often facing hunger. “When there is food on the table, it’s a miracle. But if not, we endure hunger.”
The report also reveals that 6 husbands are addicted to drugs, while 15 are unemployed. One husband is unable to meet the family’s basic needs due to insufficient income. Among the 15 unemployed husbands, 6 make no effort to seek work, while others try but fail to find jobs.
Sahar and Shakila, whose husbands are addicts, explain that their spouses not only neglect their responsibilities to provide for the family but also resort to violence when seeking money for drugs.
“My husband has changed due to his addiction, and our life has become difficult. He does not buy our daily needs because he spends all his money on drugs. Our economic situation is dire; we often go without food while he prioritizes his drug expenses,” Sahar said.
Shakila also described her life: “My husband was an addict at first; He used to beat me and my children and took the money I used to work to by drugs. It’s been two years since my husband is hospitalized.”
Some other women interviewed for this report, say that their husbands are unemployed and make no effort to find a job.
Rabia, whose husband is unemployed stated, “My husband’s mood has changed drastically. If I say go work, he says that ‘I worked for so many years; you and your children ate, now go and do whatever you do; I can’t do anything anymore’.”
“His mood has changed drastically. I wish he would work for our children. Instead, he tells me that I should handle everything myself. I have lost my sewing project and am currently jobless, while he does nothing. I have aspirations, but I cannot fulfill them.”
Zainab reflects on her difficult circumstances, saying, “Things were better before; in these past three years, he has not thought about us, even does not provide the essentials things for the house. What isn’t necessary but we desire is never offered. He stays at home without working, and the reason is that there is a lack work. For me, as a woman, working in Badghis is harder. When my husband doesn’t support me emotionally or financially, I take matters into my own hands, rolling up my sleeves and find ways to cover life’s expenses. Life is very tough for me, and there have been days when my husband was unemployed, and we had no bread to eat.”
The report also highlights that 7 interviewed women have faced violence and beating from their husbands in addition to neglect.
Sima Gul says: “Since we got married, my husband has been indifferent. While he treats his family well, he is abusive towards me and sometimes hits me. He often claims he has no money to cover our household expenses. I cannot talk back to him and my life is miserable; I have never experienced love from him, only violence and mistreatment.”
“When my husband goes out with his friends, he does not care about what I or our daughter eat. He doesn’t answer my calls, and when he returns home at night, he beats me. I blame my family for my problems, but I cannot forgive them for the difficulties I face,” said Fahima.
Women’s rights activists emphasize that unemployment, addiction, and negligence hinder husbands from properly caring for their families.
“The addiction crisis in Afghanistan is unfortunately widespread, affecting many of the citizens. The primary cause is the neglect of responsibilities, and we see women who are forced to work hard due to their husbands’ indifference,” women’s rights activist Zulaikha Amani said.
Shahla Arefi, a lawyer, insists that women have the right to complain if their husbands fail to provide for them. “After initial court hearings and reviewing the case, if a woman has complied with her husband’s demands and he is capable of providing support, the court will enforce maintenance. If he cannot provide, the court will order him to find work and support his wife. If he shirks his responsibilities, the woman has every right to file a complaint.”
Meanwhile, Saif al-Islam Khybar, spokesman for the de-facto Ministry of Propagation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice (MoPVPV) of the Islamic Emirate, reports that complaints regarding violence against women have been received, and necessary actions are being taken.
“We have received complaints regarding violence against women, inadequate treatment from husbands, and failure to meet their needs. The Ministry is taking steps in this regard, providing guidance, and serious cases have been referred to the courts. The Ministry also plans to raise awareness among men about their responsibilities to provide for their wives to prevent such cases,” he said.
Omar Mukhtar Nikzad, a religious scholar, stresses the importance of women’s rights in Islam, explaining: “In Islamic jurisprudence, a wife has both financial and non-financial rights over her husband. Non-financial rights include respectful behavior and fair treatment, including guardianship, the right to visit relatives, and the necessity of fairness in all matters. Guardianship also encompasses important financial issues, including the obligation of providing nafaqah (maintenance/livelihood) for his wife, which is a fundamental aspect of this duty. If a husband fails to fulfill these responsibilities adequately, there are provisions in Islamic law that could lead to the dissolution of the marriage, such as annulment or divorce.”
Psychologists and sociologists say that the behavior of women and the encouragement they provide can significantly influence men’s sense of responsibility. However, Zahra Mirzaie, a psychologist, highlights that when women take on all family responsibilities, it can foster laziness in men.
“Some men become complacent when they realize their wives are doing everything, leading them to avoid work. Programs should be developed to educate them on understanding their responsibilities,” she argued.
Haidar Hakimi, a sociologist, also states that a man’s lack of motivation and emotion can lead to irresponsibility towards his family, adversely affecting children. “Disillusionment in men leads to irresponsibility, particularly in Afghan culture where men typically take on family responsibilities upon marriage.”
